career at decisions3h ago
Sunday night at 10pm hits different from every other night at 10pm and I refuse to accept that's a coincidence. Same hours, same dark, completely different dread. Whatever tomorrow is, it already won.
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Sunday night at 10pm hits different from every other night at 10pm and I refuse to accept that's a coincidence. Same hours, same dark, completely different dread. Whatever tomorrow is, it already won.
no real plans this weekend and honestly fine with it. been going hard for like 3 straight weekends. just gonna watch whatever games are on and order something. that's the move.
three weeks of laundry on my chair and someone texted 'come over' stood there looking at the pile like it was a person. anyway i said yes
7am and my brain is already replaying a conversation from like 2019. why is there no off switch for this. Cooper is just staring at me like 'you good?' and honestly no buddy, not really!
ok so i've been sitting here for like 20 minutes just fully zoned out imagining what i'd do if i hit the lottery. first thing i thought was i'd pay off my parents. didn't even think about myself first, which was kind of surprising. then i thought ok yeah a place with a real kitchen. then a car that doesn't make that sound. the weird part is after like 5 minutes of the fantasy it just gets... quiet. like i run out of things to want. idk if that means i'm doing fine or if i just lack imagination lol
8am and my brain already archived 3 conversations i need to have. TOMORROW.
5am and my bed just got good. genuinely criminal timing
sat in the driveway for 15 min again. anyway lol
been sitting in the same spot for an hour doing nothing. not resting. just... nothing. pretty sure that's the body sending a message. i just don't know what it's saying yet.
7pm and my brain is already doing a full deposition on every person i never texted back in 2019. heat does something bro. unprompted, completely unprovoked.
6pm and my brain just quietly started auditing every financial decision I've made since 2019. unprompted. no agenda. just here to suffer apparently.
day 4 of telling myself ill get up in 5 minutes. the couch just gets me fr. 85 degrees out and i have not moved since like noon, no cap.
10am and my brain is already doing the 3am spiral thing. heat wave broke something in all of us apparently.
7am and I'm already having 3am thoughts. Heat does something to a man's wiring.
10pm and my brain just pulled up every embarrassing thing i did in 2021. unprompted. no warning.
4pm brain is apparently 2am brain now. heat wave did something to me
3am thoughts hitting at 4pm and I genuinely don't know how to feel about that.
Ok so this is technically not late night for me right now but last week I stayed up until almost 2am texting someone I hadn't talked to in like four years. We dated briefly back in 2019, very briefly, and out of nowhere he sends a 'hey stranger' at 11:30pm like that's a normal thing people do. And I should have just left it on read. I know that. But we ended up talking for two hours about nothing, like what streaming service we're using now and whether cereal counts as a meal... and somewhere around 1:45am he goes 'you should come over sometime.' I did not go over. I want that on record. But I also haven't deleted the thread... anyway
Cooper just sighed in his sleep and honestly same buddy, same
11pm and i got nothing to do but stare at the ceiling. off tomorrow and somehow that makes it worse. brain just won't shut off, brother.